Why Do I Play?
Something, something, gamer-identity.
Author’s Confession: This piece evolved as I wrote it. Initially meant to analyze the genres I enjoy (which will likely be a different post for another time), I might’ve gotten sidetracked with some good old-fashioned introspection. I would apologize, but my therapist says I have to stop doing that so much.
Thanks to for challenging the community with “why we play” and to
and for their responses. They are all good reads and worth checking out!While it’s incredible what a whole night’s sleep can do for your body, it’s miraculous when that night repeats for [let me check my calendar] 16 days. Now that my precious daughter has been successfully sleep trained, I can bravely say—without fear of her regression, jinx, or otherwise lousy juju for posting this on the internet— “GAME ON!”
Or, that’s what I want to say. Or maybe yell? I want to shout it from the top of my lungs so every developer on God’s green earth knows that I, SirWolvenguard, a video game enthusiast, have returned and am ready to consume the fruits of their sleepless nights.
Yet, as I sit in front of my gamer ass monitor, listening to the whirring fans within my gamer ass PC [us gamers call them “ass rigs”], stroking the scroll wheel of my PRO-gamer ass mouse, and lazily browsing my extensive library of gamer ass games, I genuinely have no idea what I want to play.
I know what kind of games I like; I even made a mug to prove it. It’s my ceramic reminder of the top 25 titles that encapsulate my virtual identity. While I slowly rotate it, my eyes scanning its artwork, I’m overwhelmed by two things: first, pain—I forgot this was a fresh cup of coffee; it’s still extremely hot. Second, I know what kind of gamer I am, but I don’t like it.
Sigh…
Hi, my name is Tyler, and I am a hypocritical1 gamer.
I’m a [deep breath] contrarian destined for disappointment in sure bets and surprising delights in unassuming places. Honestly, that second part already has me second-guessing my rash “I don’t like it” statement above. [See what I mean?!]
Despite my hypocrisy, I’m also growing. If my recent therapy has taught me anything, it’s to learn the why. So, with burnt fingers and a semi-open mind, here’s why I play video games:
I want to escape adulting and focus on my job at the factory.
I’m no different when it comes to using video games as an escape, trading the mundane routine of adult life for an adventure or two. My slight caveat is that while I desperately put off the laundry or some other chore, I replace it with power washing every inch of Lara Croft’s family mansion or intricately mining precious resources from a given planet.
I want a solo experience with others.
Some of the games enshrined around my mug are only there because of the experience I shared with others. Grinding for loot, holding Point B, tucking on a skelly fort, teaching Nina Williams martial arts—all moments only made possible with a friend. Now, if that friend played without me and happened to get further in X game? Psh, I’m uninstalling.
I want a competition that I’m guaranteed to win.
Man, I hate losing. Seriously, I’m not a good loser at all. I’m also quite terrible at most competitive games. So, naturally, it’s not a great mix. There’s no silver lining here, just some self-reflection.
I want a tight play-through that is infinite.
I value my time more than I used to. [Okay, a lot more.] A game needs to capture and engage me throughout. However, if I love a game, I want the option for it never to end.
I want a novel game for my backlog.
I’m always looking for the next new experience, and I value innovative concepts and gameplay above all else. The issue is that I have this unfortunate tendency to “buy and store.” I’ve only played 50% of the games I own. [No, I’m not proud of that.]
Well, this is awkward.
I’ll be honest: I thought if I typed long enough, I would have an “ah-ha” moment by the end that sort of wrapped everything up in a nice little bow with a positive emotional response. I like being a gamer; I’m just trying to evolve.
I forgive anyone who substitutes “hypocritical” for “selfish” by the end of this post. The former was a little less self-hating, but either can work. [Sorry, Dr. Smith.]